If you have ever had an abortion, you probably feel very much alone with the memories of your experience. Perhaps the father of the baby has long since passed out of your life. Or it seems as if no one wants to hear about your pain anymore. So you ve taken all those complicated feelings surrounding the abortion decision and stuffed them down and tried not to think about them, right?

Did you know that 43 percent of all American women will have an abortion by the age of 45 at some point during their lifetime? More than a million American women will have an abortion this year, but hardly any of them talk about it. Why is that?
Many women who have abortions are very uncertain about their decision. On the one hand, their feelings say, This is my baby &I will do what I need to in order to protect and nurtures this child.  But too often, their circumstances say, This is not a good time to have a baby &abortion is legal and easy; it ll be as if it never happened &it s the only solution to this mess.  One writer said that a woman chooses an abortion like an animal, caught in a trap, chooses to gnaw off its own leg in order to escape.

The Grieving Process
If a woman chooses to have an abortion in order to bring a persona crisis to an end, why on earth should she be upset afterward about losing her baby? Needless to say, the post-abortive woman faces a number of monumental barriers to moving through the process of grieving the loss, or even recognizing that she has experienced a loss at all.
*Adapted from Helping People Get Through Grief, By Delores Kuenning.
· There is no external evidence that her baby ever existed.
· She may not believe that she has the right to grieve a loss that she has chosen to create.
· There is no public forum for grieving the loss of her child (no memorial service or eulogy).
· The support system that usually gathers around a bereaved mother is very limited, or absent altogether, for the post-abortive woman (because in most cases few people are even told about the procedure; the ones who do know aren t likely to be excited about rehashing it afterward).
· If she confides in someone who did not know about the abortion, she risks disapproval or rejection.
· The preparation for the abortion rarely includes any discussion of the possibility of emotional issues  especially grieving  afterward.
· If she is troubled enough by feelings of distress after the abortion, a woman may seek help from a counselor who my not understand post-abortion syndrome.

For any or all of these reasons, a post-abortive woman may not have her grief validated as a normal and predictable grieving process; and as a result, she may repress her feelings of sadness and anger. Without an opportunity to work through it, the grieving process is interrupted and may not be resumed until years later, when another significant loss occurs or she becomes pregnant again. This may trigger, to her dismay, a response whose magnitude and intensity seem out of proportion and she may think, Why am I having such a horrible reaction to this? Am I losing my grip?  She may begin experiencing a number of the following symptoms at this point.

Hope for Healing

You are at this page (or someone who cares told you about it) perhaps because you are feeling some conflict about a past abortion(s). Many women feel hopeless about ever resolving the pain connected with their abortion experience. But healing is possible. Thousands of women (and men) will seek and receive help this year; you can be one of them. HEART/Healing A Father s Heart groups will help you through every step of the way  it begins with your first call. There is no longer a need for you to suffer in silence. You are not alone. And people want to help you experience a joy-filled life. Call HEART and ask about our post-abortion support group Bible studies. Please contact our confidential voicemail at 503-22-HEART (503-224-3278). This is the first step toward health and wholeness.

* Cost for entire program is 0-$10

Testimonies

When I entered HEART, I had no idea what a transformation I was in for. I had no idea that my abortion had affected virtually every area of my life. HEART brought me growth and healing in areas that I didn t expect. It set me free from things I thought I would never crawl away from, such as my insecurities and fears. I know I am not 100% cured, but I feel as though I have become free and I now have hope for a brighter life. 
- A HEART Graduate

I feel like HEART is an incredible vessel that God has decided to use in my life. Before I came to HEART I wondered each day if it would finally be the day that I snap and lose any control of my emotions. Now I can actually pinpoint and be aware of where my emotions are coming from and what causes them. I feel like someone just saved my life. 
A HEART Graduate